I Am in the Mood to Write

And for someone who is a bad writer to begin with, this is a dangerous combination, you have been warned.

So what exactly do I want to write about? I wish I knew, I only know that the words are not exactly what want them to be. I want them to each be a snippet of my brain that allows, even just one of you, to understand the absolute wonder that is this chemical soup I like to call my noodle.

I hate the fact I am not a writer because a good writer can do this with the ease of, of, shit I can't even give you a decent metaphor for something as easy as a, see I am still stuck. But that's not important right now what is important is my fingers keep hitting the keys with some type semblance of rhythm or pace. Again the chemical soup is happier when I can achieve this but it is not easy. It doesn't help that I dropped out of my typing class back in high school. But at least my fingers continue to move. So if I was to just start thinking out loud would that improve things; doubtful. (you like the semi-colon, I am never sure exactly where to put them but I see other writers do it, so why not me. To me a semi colon is like fine china, only used rarely and treated with respect. Again I was not the most attentive student in school. To me, grammar is for people who color inside the lines; pussies. See I did it again.) I have also decided that my use of "colorful language" in my blog, which is something I have thought about because of my younger readers, will continue to be used. They know what the words mean already and use them as well so who gives a shit, really. And if you are offended by such words that is your issue not mine. But I am willing to help you get over it. Again my fingers keep moving so we will see where the bus takes us. And there it is folks, it's the bus, that's what I am going to write about. Thanks to my friend Barbara who helped ladle this little pearl of wisdom out of the "soup". By the way, some have said the the words "Cellar Door" are the most beautiful in the English language but I think "Metaphorical Paradox" is better. Chew on that for a while.

The Bus
Ok I will try and explain this the easiest way I can. Life is a journey, you are being driven on this journey in a bus. The key thing is you are not driving the bus, even if you really want to, you can't. That thing in your hand right now that you think is a steering wheel, is just a kids toy you put there thinking it would let you drive the bus. Trust me the driver is locked in his compartment and you are not really allowed to speak to the driver. (These are not my rules, there is a sticker on his window that says, "don't talk with the driver".) Stay with me, I will get to my point, it just might take a bit to get there. The driver knows where he is going but he does not tell you where, the best you can do is look out the front of the bus and see what is coming at you, the only problem is at best you can see 15 seconds down the road. The problem with doing this is, to see down the road you have to get up from your great seat in the back which has a glass bubble top that gives you great views of what is all around you and you go to the front of the bus, which has only a view of what is in front of you. Now the only thing you can see is your future and only a few seconds of it as it goes flying by you. It is hard to figure out where you are because you can't focus on the things going by, it's to fast. But most people (I guess 80% of the population) stay in the front of the bus and some even bring their toy steering wheels with them because they think that it works better in the front of the bus. These are also the people who ignore the sign that say don't talk with the bus driver. So now they are trying to drive the bus by looking only to the future and missing life as it passes them by. Then they get angry because the bus isn't going where they think it should, again you are not driving the bus, get that into your head. This anger comes from fear, the fear that you have no control over your life. Guess what, you don't, your not driving the bus, get it? Move back to your good seat and enjoy the view. Here is the part most people have trouble with. Somethings the bus you are on stops and the driver tells you to get out and wait for the next bus that has your name on it. Sometime you don't want to get off the bus you are on, you might like the bus you are on or you might be scared to get off the bus because you are not sure where you are. You have to get off the bus, even when it scares the crap out of you, the next bus will show up. But if you sit on the bus you never see how many other buses with your name on them go driving by. They may be even better buses with better views but you miss them. Sometimes the stop is in a remote place and you think if I get off this bus, it is going to leave and I have no idea when the next bus is coming. Well live in fear and let it rule your world or get off the bus and face your fears. Odds are, it's never as bad as you think it is and for every fear you can get over only helps you later deal with fear and finally remove as much of it from your life as you can. The next bus almost always shows up as soon as you conquer your fear and step off the bus, that is why there is no posted bus schedule, you are the one who sets the schedule, that is the control that you have. Sometimes the bus stops and you find yourself in a transfer station and there are may different buses with your name on them. Take your time in choosing because they are always coming and going. And they can go in so many directions it is hard to choose but a choice is needed so you don't get run over by one of them. So to sum up, stop trying to drive the bus, and get off the bus when it stops, especially when you really don't want to.

Ok that's enough for now, the soup is happy.